If love is a battlefield, then Austin on Valentine's Day is trench warfare. Expect long lines, exorbitant prices, and the nagging suspicion that everyone else is having a slightly better time pretending to be in love. And now, thanks to our benevolent weather overlords, you can add 'scattered showers' to the mix. So much for that picnic.

The Big Picture

Tonight, Austin transforms into a giant, throbbing heart of commercialized affection, amplified by the ambient gloom of impending rain. The city's restaurants will be packed tighter than a clown car full of unmet expectations, and every bouquet of roses will cost more than your first car. The rain, however, should ensure fewer performative outdoor proposals.

By the Numbers

$150 Average price of a Valentine's Day dinner for two in Austin. (Before drinks.) 70 percent Chance of scattered showers throughout the evening. 62 degrees Predicted high temperature – balmy enough to question your life choices while shivering on a patio. 100% Likelihood of seeing at least one couple arguing in public. $8 billion Estimated national spending on Valentine's Day. (Think of the tacos we could buy.)

What Changed

What's different? Besides the relentless march of time and the erosion of all that is good and pure in the world? Not much. Valentine's Day is an annual tradition, a capitalist ritual, a recurring reminder that you are either deeply loved or deeply alone. The weather, however, adds a new layer of existential dread to the equation. The forces at play are: Hallmark, the Weather Channel, and your own crippling fear of being single.

Why It Matters

Why should you care? Because novelty is the only thing that slows down the perception of time passing. And also, maybe, just maybe, a shared umbrella and a soggy rose could be the start of something real. Or, more likely, it's just a prelude to another year of swiping left. Either way, you'll have a story to tell. And maybe a mild cold.