The Big Picture
We're all just hurtling through space on a giant rock, and sometimes, on that rock, teenagers hit balls with sticks. And sometimes, those teenagers are deemed worthy of the title 'Athlete of the Week.' The Austin American-Statesman wants you to vote. Right now. Because the illusion of choice is better than the void. So go ahead, click that link and participate in the charade. It's not like you have anything better to do while waiting for the inevitable collapse of society.
By the Numbers
1 The number of athletes who will be crowned 'Athlete of the Week.' Infinite The number of athletes who will be forever forgotten. 0 The number of problems solved by voting in this poll. 5 The approximate number of seconds of fleeting validation the winner will experience. 2026 The year of the Fire Horse, according to the Chinese Zodiac, which is probably more relevant than this poll.What Changed
What changed? The relentless march of time, that's what. Each week brings a new crop of athletic achievements, destined to be replaced by the next. The media continues to churn out content, desperate for your clicks and attention. The system grinds on, indifferent to your hopes and dreams.
Why It Matters
It doesn't. None of this matters. But hey, at least it's something to distract you from the crushing weight of your own mortality. So go ahead, cast your vote. Pretend it makes a difference. It's not like you're going to find enlightenment staring at the ceiling.